How Billionaires Become Billionaires: Wall Street Bailout Jokes

November 05, 2008

Wall Street Bailout Jokes

Top Bailout Jokes

The best of the bailout jokes.

-Bad News from Japan.

In the last few days:
· The famous Origami Bank has folded!
· The Sumo Bank has gone belly up!
· The Bonsai Bank plans to cut some of its branches!
· The Karaoke Bank is up for sale and likely to go for a song.
· Shares in the Kamikaze Bank have been suspended after they nose dived and
· 500 staff at the Karate Bank have been given the chop.
· Finally, analysts report there is something fishy going on at the Sushi Bank and it is feared that customers may get a raw deal.

-I went to buy a toaster, and it came with a bank.

Q: What’s the difference between a bond and a bond trader?

A: A bond matures.

Q: How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two … one to change the bulb, the other to sell off the old one at the highest price possible before CNBC reports that it’s burned out.

Q: How many commodities traders does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, they don’t change bulbs; but the trading price of darkness plummets due to oversupply.

Q: How many real-estate agents does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Just one … but after changing the bulb, s/he raises the asking-price of the house due to “recent renovations.”

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Q: What is the difference between a credit default swap and a beanie baby?

A: You can still sell a beanie baby.

Q: What is the secret of your investing success?

A: I just do the opposite of what my broker tells me to do.

Q: What’s the difference between a pigeon and a wall street investment banker ?

A: Only the pigeon can still make a deposit on a brand new Porsche.

-George Bush has said that he is saddened to hear about the demise of Lehman brothers and that his thoughts at this time go out to their mother as losing one son is hard enough but losing two is a real tragedy.

-The problem with investment bank balance sheets is that on the left side nothing’s right and on the right side nothing’s left.

Now here's the biggest joke of all.

Q: What's the most worthless traffic on the Net?

A: Digg traffic. Over 15,000 visits and just two have "dugg" this post.

Check out Mark Cuban's Bailout Sleuth.

Nov 5, 2008 1:07:47 PM | Humor